Don't Let Life Stop You From Living
by Estel
Summary: LEAH IV. when Elrond decides to leave Middle Earth, Nikki, Rachel, Ivy, and Andrea must go back to Leah's world. but when Sauron figures out how to enter that world? what happens? features all of the old fave. characters from Leah 1, 2, and 3, and maybe a
1. When all else fails, be romantic

|Don't Let Life Stop You From Living |  
|Chapter One |  
| |  
|Well, here it is, the long-awaited (audience: ~snort~ yeah right.)|  
|last story. I just * had * to bring back the old characters one |  
|last time, instead of using their children in a story, as I had |  
|originally planned. But I think that this plot finishes off the |  
|quad nicer. So.here it is. Dedicated to those who have helped me |  
|through my writer's block and other assorted trials and |  
|tribulations. |  
| |  
| |  
| |  
|~*~ |  
|Rachel looked at Sam and sighed. He frowned and walked around to |  
|stand behind her, arms around her waist. She leaned back and |  
|closed her eyes. |  
| |  
|"I wish you weren't leaving." |  
| |  
|"Thank you for stating the obvious. So do I," she said, turning to|  
|face him. "but tomorrow morning, I'll be back in my own world." |  
| |  
|"Remind me again why you're going?" |  
| |  
|"Because I have to. Elrond's leaving these shores soon, and he's |  
|the only one left in Middle Earth who can send us all back. And if|  
|we don't go back, it messes with time. And Gandalf says we can't |  
|do that." |  
| |  
|"And why not? This is the one time I don't agree with him, and |  
|that's saying something." |  
| |  
|"Because it might mess things up. Badly. And, if I don't go back, |  
|everyone will be worried." |  
| |  
|"I'll miss you." |  
| |  
|She kissed him lightly on the nose. " 'tis better to have loved |  
|and lost that never to have loved at all. And we've loved a |  
|lifetime in these short years." |  
| |  
|Sam sighed. "I suppose you're right. It doesn't make it any easier|  
|to let you go, though." |  
| |  
|"You never have to let me go. I'll be in your heart." |  
| |  
|~*~ |  
| |  
|Andrea sat in her wooden rocking chair, trying not to cry. |  
| |  
|"Pip." she said softly. The named hobbit walked in, towel over |  
|shoulder, in leather breeches. |  
| |  
|"Yeah?" he asked, matching her soft tone. |  
| |  
|She started sobbing silently, hot tears running down her face. He |  
|came over to her and knelt by her feet. |  
| |  
|"Look at me," he said. "Look into my eyes and tell me what your |  
|first thought is." He tilted her chin up so she could look at him.|  
| |  
| |  
|She dabbed at her eyes and, after a slow moment had passed, looked|  
|into his eyes. First she smiled. Then she giggled. Then her |  
|giggling stopped and her face became serious, though the smile |  
|remained. |  
| |  
|"I love you," she said. "And I always will." |  
| |  
|"Good." Pippin said, and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. Then|  
|he stood up, and walked over to get his shirt from where it lay |  
|draped over the back of a chair. |  
| |  
|~*~ |  
| |  
|"Are you four ready?" Elrond asked. Nikki grinned- she definitely |  
|couldn't remember the high elven lord speaking that way in the |  
|books. "Leah's been a bad influence on him." she thought. Ivy, |  
|Andrea, Nikki, and Rachel looked at their lovers. A few sighs |  
|could be heard around the small balcony. Various thoughts went |  
|through various minds on how they could weasel out of leaving, |  
|regrets about how they didn't use their time to its fullest, and |  
|thoughts of the world they'd be going to: A foreign, distant |  
|place, once called home. |  
| |  
|But none of the thirteen present knew that something would go |  
|wrong. |  
| |  
|~*~ |  
| |  
|The vision faded as quickly as it had begun, leaving all of them |  
|with a deep sinking feeling. |  
| |  
|"Someone must go and warn them. Go into the future and defeat |  
|Sauron. Are there any who would be willing to take on such a |  
|task?" Elrond said. |  
| |  
|"Shit." Frodo said. |  
| |  
|"What?" Aragorn and Legolas asked in unison. |  
| |  
|"There are nine of us." |  
| |  
|~*~ |  
| |  
| |  
|connectserv_101102 |  
|andmbvalue=713 |  
|CONNECTING TO "LORD OF THE RINGS: POST AND DISCUSS" |  
| |  
| |  
|USERS: |  
|I_live_for_frodo |  
|Lord_of_the_rings |  
|Searching4Leah |  
|Nikkin+Leggy |  
|The_twits_and_company |  
|Elessar |  
| |  
| |  
| |  
|Searching4Leah: M/P, where's Sam? Either of them? |  
|The_twits_and_company: we haven't seen them, not since yesterday. |  
|I think they're out again, looking for Rachel and Nikki. Poor |  
|guys..and poor you! We're lucky, though, aren't we, pip? |  
|The_twits_and_company: yep, we are, Mer. |  
|The_twits_and_company: we've found our girls. |  
|Searching4Leah: where are they, by the way? |  
|The_twits_and_company: out doing something they called "clubbing".|  
|That's gotta be painful.don't you think? |  
|Searching4Leah: well, that's okay. Wait until you've spent more |  
|than forty years with someone from this world and still find |  
|yourself surprised on a daily basis. |  
|MRS_BAGGINS HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM |  
|Mrs_Baggins: holy crap! Guess I'm not the only one who can't |  
|sleep. Hey, Searching4Leah, what's with the name? Kinda odd. |  
|Searching4Leah: Leah WAS Odd. |  
|Nikkin+Leggy: she certainly was! |  
|Mrs_Baggins: that's rather.. uncanny. My name's Leah. |  
|Searching4Leah: really? Leah what? |  
|Mrs_Baggins: Underhill.why? |  
|Searching4Leah: Holy hell. |  
|Mrs_Baggins: what, are you stalking me or something? |  
|Searching4Leah: Leah, this is gonna be hard to understand. But |  
|please just listen to me. I'm your husband. |  
|Mrs_Baggins: don't you ever say that again, you bastard! Don't |  
|even JOKE about that! You don't know what you're fucking with, |  
|buddy. |  
|MRS_BAGGINS HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
|Searching4Leah: Shit. |  
|Nikkin+Leggy: The plan still on for the rendezvous on Sunday? |  
|Sunday at the tea shop on 96th and Highland? |  
|The_twits_and_company: sure, why not? |  
|Searching4Leah: sure. |  
|Elessar: okay. You alright, Frodo? |  
|Searching4Leah: yeah. |  
|THE_TWITS_AND_COMPANY HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
|NIKKIN+LEGGY HAS LEFT THE ROOM |  
|ELESSAR HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
|SEARCHING4LEAH HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
|Lord_of_the_rings: So, where were we.? |  
|I_live_for_frodo: I was nibbling your ear and you were just about |  
|to tell me- |  
|Lord_of_the_rings: -how beautiful you are. |  
|SAURON HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM |  
|I_live_for_frodo: shit. Go to the second chatroom..there's no one |  
|in there. |  
|Lord_of_the_rings: k. see u there. |  
|SAURONS_HELPER HAS ENTERED THE ROOM |  
|Sauron: alright. Have you called the troops together outside the |  
|city? |  
|Saurons_Helper: yes, my lord. They are waiting eagerly within the |  
|borders of Thatchwood Forest. |  
|Sauron: call the command on Wednesday at midnight. Approach the |  
|city quietly. Avoid burning, looting, raping, pillaging, and all |  
|that good stuff yet. Gather in Central Park by one AM. The troops |  
|from the southeast will meet you. When I give the command, invade |  
|the surroundings and spread out. With several attacks, they won't |  
|be able to fight back. |  
|Saurons_Helper: yes, my lord. |  
|Sauron: I like the screen name, by the way. Who came up with it? |  
|Saurons_Helper: I did, my lord. |  
|Sauron: very good. Not something I'd expect from someone of low |  
|intelligence, but I like it. |  
|SAURON HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
|SAURONS_HELPER HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM |  
| |  
|~*~ | 


	2. When all else fails, pet the cat

~*~  
  
Leah flopped face-down on the couch, sobbing.  
  
"My husband." She said, facing her pudgy cat, Emmy.  
  
"Emmy, he said he was my husband."  
  
"Meooooooow." came the response.  
  
"Typical. God, you're no help, you run me into debt.remind me why I keep you?"  
  
The cat looked at her in a way that clearly said 'because I'm cute, you idiot.' Leah laid her head back down, and the cat walked across her back and sat down right in the center, kneading her shoulders.  
  
"Ahh.." Leah said. "I take back that part about you not being any help. But it still doesn't solve my current crisis. I just can't get used to the idea of life without him."  
  
"Meoooow."  
  
"Ten years and I still can't get used to it."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It's so hard."  
  
"I can imagine."  
  
"I wonder how he's faring? I wonder how Nikki and Sam are?"  
  
"They're all fine."  
  
Leah sat up quickly.  
  
"Holy..Frodo?!"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The cat, who had been thrown off of Leah's back and onto the couch, sat up, ruffled its fur, and walked away, giving Leah dirty looks which she was too preoccupied to acknowledge.  
  
"How in hell are you here?"  
  
"Shh." He said, sitting next to her. "Don't talk just now." Leaning in, he kissed her gently, running his tongue along her bottom lip. The kiss intensified when she leaned in and they both wrapped their arms around each other in near unison. After a slow moment had passed, he broke the kiss, as tenderly as he had started it. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he smiled and brushed a hand through her hair.  
  
"How did you find me?"  
  
"On your internet profile, it said you were from New York. There are only two Leah Underhills in the New York phone book. Your profile also said you enjoyed the view of the sun setting from Central Park. So, using my very sharp brain, I figured you were the Leah Underhill that lived a block away from Central Park, rather than the one that lived across town."  
  
"Ahh."  
  
"And the door was open, and I heard crying inside, so I just came on in."  
  
She looked up into his eyes. "I love you," she said simply.  
  
"You have no idea how hard it was to watch Nikki and Sam grow up and not have you be there."  
  
"How are they? Where are they?"  
  
"Fine. They're here. In the city. We found out that Andrea and Ivy lived here, and Merry and Pippin insisted that we move."  
  
"Really? I didn't even know they lived here. I lost touch with the two of them about three years ago. Who all's here?"  
  
"Geeze. umm.Aragorn. Sam. The other Sam. Nikki. Merry. Pippin. Legolas. Elrond. And me, of course."  
  
"Nine," Leah said, amused.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"I tell you, it's a conspiracy. So, why are the Middle Earth natives here?"  
  
"Well, it's not a pleasant task. We've discovered that, somehow, Sauron discovered a way to get into this world. And he's planning on a siege of the city."  
  
Leah sat up straight. "When?"  
  
"Within the next four or five days."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"So, it's up to us to stop him."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Erm..well.."  
  
"You don't know?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I'm supposed to come up with a plan."  
  
"You know this world best."  
  
"Okay. I can do that, with the help my planning minions and some seriously large doses of caffeine."  
  
"Good. Now, can we be reacquainted?"  
  
"Sure. But why waste time talking? To the bedroom, I say!" She stood up. Frodo looked at her, laughed, and followed suit.  
  
"Same spunk I remember. Well, onwards."  
  
"And upwards. Upwards is the most important part," She added, grinning and putting a hand low around his waist to steer him towards the bedroom.  
  
~*~  
  
Aragorn looked around the small apartment he had rented out as their headquarters, near the small Tea shop on 96th and Highland. It turned out that Elrond was quite familiar with Leah's world, and had spent a lot of time building a fortune and a profile. With that fortune, he had splurged on several apartments over various parts of New York, the city they had pinpointed for Sauron's attack. In each apartment, he had set up laptop computers with internet access, so that the new "fellowship" could communicate. For several months, they had been racing against the clock, setting up stations and lines of communication, and becoming oriented with the new world. In one corner of the main room of the small apartment that he and Elrond shared, there sat a card table, where a laptop was hooked up to a 'printer', which was rapidly spitting pages into the tray.  
  
In another corner, there was a small machine which, when a small disk was entered, would play music. It was not music that Aragorn was familiar with, however, and he had become quite familiar with several different musicians. His favorite by far was someone named Carlos Santana, and he reacted by joining what Elrond referred to as "the Church of Carlos". However, he still remained puzzled by a CD he picked up for a small sum of money at what was called a 'second-hand CD store'. On the cover, it had five females in outfits that Aragorn hardly considered ethical for anyone to wear, let alone to wear in public. (Of course, given what he saw on some of the females around the city, it seemed quite humane. Arwen would never stoop so low, he reminded himself on numerous occasions.) Next to this, the label read "The Spice Girls". This is part of what perplexed him.why wasn't the title simply their names? Like "Carlos Santana"? And their music sounded nothing like he was accustomed to. Most of the songs that Carlos Santana sang could be likened to the folk songs of Hobbits and Men, and there was an artist named "Enya" who had some music which sounded, with a stretch of the imagination, like elvish music, but the music of these "Spice Girls" sounded like screaming compared to such other music. So, eventually, he became frustrated with these awful musicians and had thrown the disk out the window. Unfortunately, this was when Elrond was about to walk in the door from shopping.  
  
Against one wall was a mattress that Aragorn slept on, and there was another small room that Elrond resided in, with another computer and a mattress on the floor. The entrance to this was directly across from the front door, and the bathroom was next to that. There was also a small alcove in which there was a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, although Aragorn and Elrond had been near living off of a yellowish, sugary liquid called 'Mountain Dew' and a cheesy pastry type of thing called 'pizza'.  
  
Aragorn sighed, and walked over to the table. He took a swig from the plastic cup of Mountain Dew that sat next to the printer. The liquid was spewed as he read the most recent printout, from a chatroom that he and Elrond were monitoring.  
  
He read:  
  
Saurons_Helper: yes, my lord. They are waiting eagerly within the borders of Thatchwood Forest.  
Sauron: call the command on Wednesday at midnight. Approach the city  
quietly. Avoid burning, looting, raping, pillaging, and all that good  
stuff yet. Gather in Central Park by one AM. The troops from the  
southeast will meet you. When I give the command, invade the  
surroundings and spread out. With several attacks, they won't be able  
to fight back.  
  
~*~  
  
The elder of the two Hobbits flipped through the phonebook. "Strautner..Strautner..Rachel Strautner." [NOTE: I'm NOT good at last names! Please, anytime you see a name that's cheesy or doesn't quite sound good, feel free to make suggestions. Chances are that I don't like the name either! Anyway, both yours and Nikki's Last names are really corny, please help!]  
  
"Any luck?" The younger piped in.  
  
"No, Sam," the elder said. "There are hundreds of Strautners in this phone book, it could take days to find her!"  
  
"Here.. let me see if I can find Nikki, and maybe she'll know where we can find Rachel." The phone book was exchanged, and the younger hobbit flipped to the 'C' section of the book.  
  
"Damnit." he said. "There are even more Christensens than Strautners."  
  
The elder's eyes went wide.  
  
"What?" Asked the younger, puzzled.  
  
"What if they're listed under their married names? Flip to 'Baggins'."  
  
The smaller of the two did so, and found fourteen listings. Only one of those, however, was listed under 'Nikki'. The page of the phone book was torn out and quickly shoved in a pocket, and the book was handed over. The elder Sam flipped to 'Gamgee'. And there, he found only two listings.an 'Anabella' and a 'Rachel'.  
  
~*~  
  
Rachel moved silently across the living room, lost in thought. Putting the rhyming dictionary back on the shelf, she glared at Nikki.  
  
"Just because it's not listed does NOT mean that 'orange' and 'orange' do not rhyme."  
  
"They don't, though."  
  
"They DO!"  
  
"They don't."  
  
"They d-"  
  
She was interrupted when a knock sounded at the door.  
  
"One minute!" Nikki called in the direction of the door. She glared and put her slippers on.  
  
"They don't." she said.  
  
"They do," Rachel whispered, and flopped down on the couch.  
  
"Holy shit," Came Nikki's voice. "Rachel, get your ass over here."  
  
"Huh?" Rachel asked, walking towards the doorway.  
  
"Oh my god! Is that.Sam?"  
  
"It is. Hullo, you two."  
  
"Sam!" Rachel cried, running towards the foremost figure.  
  
"And.Sam!" The smaller one said, stepping out. Hugs were exchanged, kisses were shared and, five minutes later, they were invited inside for tea.  
  
~*~  
  
"But how did you two get here?" Rachel asked, after hearing the situation about Sauron.  
  
"The same way as you did. Only we got here at this time, so that we could overthrow Sauron. Galadriel sent us information giving us the approximate date and place in your world where the attack would be launched. So we came here several months beforehand. We've been acquainting ourselves with your world, setting up communication, and looking for you guys, and Ivy, Andrea, and Leah."  
  
"Oh, Ivy and Andrea live in the city?"  
  
"Yes, all five of you do. Rather odd, I say."  
  
"So.about how you got here." Nikki started. "I'm confused."  
  
~*~  
  
Frodo kissed the gently sleeping Leah on the forehead, and lay himself down beside her, looking at the features of the face he was always afraid he'd forget. He'd wake from a nightmare in the middle of the night and think, 'Leah! What did her face look like?' It was as though, when he could remember those eyes, all his monsters, real or imaginary, faded away.  
  
"Leah," he breathed. "I love you,"  
  
"So do I," she said, her eyes still closed.  
  
"I thought you were asleep."  
  
"I was. But I'm a light sleeper. And how could I sleep at a time like this?"  
  
"You're tired, though." He said as she yawned.  
  
"That very well may be," she said, "But I have no intention of forsaking the refuge of your arms for sleep."  
  
"You don't have to," he said, putting his arms around her waist. "Now, go to sleep. We have a rough few days ahead of us, you'll need it."  
  
"I need you," She said, covering his lips with her own. He kissed her, pouring the seven years of passion he'd spent without her into one kiss.  
  
His hands found their way to just above her hips, roughly pulling her towards him.  
  
"Oh, good," she said thickly through a kiss as their bodies met. "You remembered the 'upwards' this time."  
  
He laughed, and pulled back a little bit, to look at her face. He shook his head.  
  
"Well, I was just commenting. Telling the truth."  
  
"Are you saying I forgot that part before?" he said, in a faux-offended tone.  
  
"No."  
  
" 'This time'?"  
  
"Weeeeeelll.."  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Just kiss me."  
  
"Just kiss you..So I can lose the upwards?" he asked.  
  
"No! Unless there's no further use for it, of course."  
  
"I think I could dream up a couple of uses."  
  
~*~ 


	3. When all else fails, sing karaoke

In this chapter and a few chapters to come, there are/will be mentions of other  
  
~*~  
  
Elrond sat, looking at the circle that sat inside the private party room at the Tea Shop. Nikki and Legolas were snogging, Aragorn was looking at the lyrics card for his new Bruce Spingsteen CD, the two Sams were playing cards, Nikki and Rachel were deep in discussion about 'Orange' and 'Orange', Leah was telling Frodo about the last ten years of her life, and the four troublemakers (AKA "The_twits_and_company") were talking in tones the rest of the group could not overhear, presumably discussing their next prank.  
  
The Elf lord sighed and stood up. He cleared his throat and said, clearly and loud, "We are screwed."  
  
Everyone looked up at this except Nikki and Legolas, who continued snogging.  
  
"Nikki?" Leah said, trying to get them to participate in the discussion of tactics she knew was coming.  
  
"Legolas!" Frodo said, sharp and commanding.  
  
"Call him 'Leggy-lou-lou'," Rachel said. "He hates that."  
  
Ignoring this, Leah beckoned Frodo to help her. She walked up behind Legolas, and Frodo behind Nikki.  
  
"One.Two.Three." mouthed Leah, and they pulled the two apart on "Three".  
  
"Aww." Nikki said. "What'd you do that for?"  
  
"We need to discuss things," Aragorn said, a phantom of a smile playing around his lips. "Tactics for defeating Sauron. You'll have time to make out all you want to, once we've killed him off once and for all."  
  
"You realize we've 'destroyed' Sauron twice now, and he still is in power?" Leah asked. "Do you think it will work?"  
  
"Well," said Elrond, considering, "There's a branch of- er- magic that Elves seldom use. Gandalf knew a lot about it, but unfortunately he is not here, so we will need to use what we know. Apparently you used it to defeat the Balrog in Khazad-Dum. It is not uncommon in this world, but commonly looked down upon."  
  
"Elrond," Leah said, frustrated, "Are you gonna tell us or make us play twenty questions?"  
  
the Elf lord looked at her but ignored the comment. "Elemental magic. I, however, know very little about this subject. Does anyone here know of it?"  
  
Leah spoke tentatively. "I think I know a bit," she said. "Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. It's common in a few different belief systems. You can also be delegated as an 'element' based on your birthdate and astrological sign."  
  
Rachel nodded slightly. The Nikki from Leah's world frowned for a second, but her face smoothed as she understood, and she nodded as well.  
  
"Alright," she said, looking nervous. "Elrond, what do we- er- do with elemental magic?"  
  
"I think we just need to have the elements present as we destroy Sauron."  
  
"For the third bloody time," Legolas muttered moodily.  
  
"What's wrong, Leggy, on your period?" Ivy said. Legolas looked at her.  
  
"Kay.so. umm.. Why don't we figure out who here is what element? Fire in that corner-" She said, pointing, "Earth over there, Air over there, and Water in that area. If you don't know your element, come over here."  
  
She picked up a newspaper she had been reading that morning and flipped to the Horoscope section.  
  
"Frodo- Virgo. Earth," she said. He walked to the corner she had delegated, leaving her sniggering lightly. "Virgo.the virgin.yeah, right."  
  
"Aragorn. When were you born?"  
  
"March first," he answered.  
  
"Pisces..ah, Water. Sam?"  
  
"July fourteenth."  
  
"Cancer- Water again. Other Sam?"  
  
"August twelfth."  
  
"Ah. Leo. Fire. Nikki? Oh.you're Gemini. Air."  
  
"Other Nikki.Scorpio. Water. Merry?"  
  
"December twenty-seventh."  
  
"Capricorn. That'll be.. Earth. Pippin?"  
  
"November twenty-seventh."  
  
Leah did a double-take. ".you're Sagittarius. Fire, hun."  
  
"Hee hee..Merry, she called me 'hun'."  
  
Leah rolled her eyes. "Leggy?"  
  
Legolas glared at her, and made an action as if he were drawing a bowstring tight. "October eleventh."  
  
"Libra.Air." She flipped him off as he walked away, grinned, and then turned to Elrond, who was glowering at her.  
  
"March twenty-first," he said, through slightly pursed lips.  
  
"Aries. Fire, Smith." She said, as he turned his back. He turned back to face her and replied,  
  
"It's 'Agent Smith'."  
  
Seeing no one else who needed to be sorted into their appropriate element groups, she turned to look at them. Rachel, Pippin, Elrond, and Samwise stood in the "Fire" section, Aragorn, Sam, and Nikki stood in the "Water" corner, Her daughter, Legolas, and Andrea stood in the "Air" group, and she joined Ivy, Merry, and Frodo in the "Earth" section.  
  
"So." she said slowly, "I think we have a guy and a girl from each world in each element. Oh, that worked out rather well. So..let's see..I think the elemental magic will work if we just have all the elements equally present when we destroy Sauron, which we are planning on doing.how?"  
  
"Well," Elrond said, "Sauron is not as strong in Middle Earth. The inhabitants of Middle Earth are more pure-hearted. Whereas.here. the inhabitants are full of greed, hatred, lies, deceit. which is why he chose to come here. He's stronger where the powers he uses are stronger naturally. So, I think if we can get him back to Middle Earth, his threat will be so miniscule it can be ignored. And we can get him back to Middle Earth by luring him into a world-portal."  
  
Leah spoke up. "Okay. So, Aragorn, you said you had a chat room printout, showing when and where the attack should take place?"  
  
"Central Park at midnight on Wednesday," Aragorn replied.  
  
"Alright.that gives us three days. Easy enough."  
  
"Easy?!" Frodo exclaimed.  
  
"You trust my judgment, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, Leah," he said, by way of apology.  
  
"Now," I said, "We'll need the elements present. We'll need disguises to get in there without being seen. We'll need the world-portal able to be conjured very quickly. Elrond, you can take care of the portal?"  
  
Elrond nodded.  
  
"Okay..and..all of the natives pick two of Middle-Earth natives to get disguises for."  
  
"What type of disguises?" Ivy asked.  
  
"That's a good question, I'm glad you asked that. Umm. well, I think that just disguising them enough that someone from Middle-Earth wouldn't recognize them would be good. Also, disguises that give them excuses to be skulking around at midnight in Central Park would earn extra brownie points."  
  
Everyone from my world paired up with two people from Middle Earth.  
  
"Alright. Rendezvous, same place, same time tomorrow. Everyone has to find disguises for themselves and their people, okay?"  
  
There was some mumbling, and everyone trickled out of the room, until just Frodo and I were left. I sighed and he stood and stretched.  
  
"Leah," he said, coming over and sitting next to me.  
  
"What is it, my little Fro-Fro?"  
  
"Fro-Fro?"  
  
"Sorry, Ivy and Andrea's cruel sense of humor is rubbing off on me. Anyway, what is it?"  
  
"Well, I just wanted to say that I love you, and that I think it's wonderful that you've just taken control of this. No one else really could step up and do it, no one had enough knowledge of both worlds."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Sure thing. Back to the apartment?"  
  
"Sure..but I've got to do some shopping later today."  
  
"Uh-oh..what kind of shopping?"  
  
"Oh, costumes, maps, and some other supplies."  
  
"Alright."  
  
~*~  
  
I browsed the racks once more, looking for a disguise for Elrond. I had already found one for Frodo- I was turning him into a punk. I would do a haircut and dye his hair dark black. In addition to the dye, I'd gotten a false nose stud and several small silver clip-on earrings, dark sunglasses, and tight black leather wrist cuffs. Also, I'd gotten a large, baggy t- shirt with the name of some obscure band on it, baggy black pants, a studded belt, and a large silver ball chain for around his neck.  
  
I glanced over and saw a cluster of racks I'd somehow missed before, and grinned.  
  
~*~  
  
We all stood there, most of us wearing shocked expressions, others wearing very satisfied ones.  
  
It turned out that the only people who had actually gone out costume shopping were Rachel and I, and neither of us had gotten costumes for ourselves. Aragorn was now dressed as a cop, with Legolas as his "criminal". Apparently she had had the same idea as I in dressing Legolas as a punk. Legolas, much to his dismay, now had short, spiky hair in a shade that was not a native hair color to middle earth- blue. Frodo was at first unwilling to dye and cut his hair, but I reminded him it was only temporary and he gave in. Elrond was shocked at my choice of outfit for him, and he retained a rather sour expression, which only furthered the hilarity of the outfit. He donned a full-length black trenchcoat that swept the ground, large black boots, and dark sunglasses.  
  
Aragorn, however, had news that came as a relief to the alarm of most of the group not having costumes. When I began talking about how important it was to get costumes, he went over to check on the status of the chatroom he was monitoring from his laptop computer.  
  
"OH MY GOD," he said.  
  
"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed at having been interrupted.  
  
"Santana is giving a concert! Yes!"  
  
"What?!" Elrond asked, standing up.  
  
"Santana's doing a concert in Central Park!"  
  
"Awesome!" Elrond said. "How much are tickets?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Let's find out! We have to go!"  
  
I cleared my throat. "Boy, calm down. There's not going to be a Central Park if Sauron succeeds.. Hang on a second. Aragorn, I thought your computer was monitoring that chatroom."  
  
"It was."  
  
I was suddenly filled with dread. "When's the concert?"  
  
"Wednesday night."  
  
"Shit..He's using the concert as a cover."  
  
~*~  
  
connectserv_101102 andmbvalue=713 CONNECTING TO "LORD OF THE RINGS: POST AND DISCUSS"  
  
USERS: Frodo_rocks_1984 I_heart_purple_dinosaurs When_all_else_fails_murder_your_husband Sauron  
  
SAURONS_HELPER HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM  
  
Sauron: It's about time, damnit!  
  
Saurons_Helper: sorry, my lord.  
  
Sauron: Well, to business. I have learned that, the night of the 22nd, there will be a concert in Central Park.  
  
Saurons_Helper: A concert, My lord?  
  
Sauron: yes, a band called "Santana" is giving a concert, starting at ten PM and going until one.  
  
Saurons_Helper: but that will ruin the plan!  
  
Sauron: It doesn't have to.  
  
Saurons_Helper: but the park will be occupied, my lord!  
  
Sauron: exactly.  
  
Saurons_Helper: but we will have nowhere to gather!  
  
Sauron: we don't need to. We surround the crowd. If the band is popular enough to hold a concert in the center of the city, it will attract quite a crowd. This will give us a head start- raising panic.  
  
Saurons_Helper: are you sure this is a good idea, my lord? I though we were going for stealth.  
  
Sauron: shut up, idiot! Listen to me. this plan will work!  
  
~*~  
  
connectserv_101102 andmbvalue=713 CONNECTING TO "LORD OF THE RINGS: POST AND DISCUSS"  
  
USERS: Elessar Agent_Smith  
  
Agent_Smith: okay, we'll meet tomorrow. Nine AM sharp. Just look after Leah and the others. If they try to attack, they'll do it soon, and they'll most likely target Leah.  
  
Elessar: Why do they always target Leah, anyway?  
  
Agent_Smith: Leah doesn't know this. And no one can know this- it might put them in danger. But I trust you with this. They target Leah for two reasons which combined make her our most powerful asset.  
  
Eleassar: what are those reasons?  
  
Agent_Smith: I'm getting to that. The first reason is that she has a powerful tool that no almost no one else has- extensive knowledge of both her world and its modern technologies as well as much knowledge of Middle Earth.  
  
Elessar: and the second reason?  
  
Agent_Smith: She and Frodo are both the Ringbearers who brought down Sauron's power.  
  
Elessar: And that means what? How does that make them different?  
  
Agent_Smith: If one or both of them are killed, it makes Sauron much more powerful.  
  
THE_FOOL_ON_THE_HILL HAS ENTERED THE CHATROOM  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: hello, boys. Long time, no see.  
  
Agent_Smith: who are you?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: I think I'll leave you in the dark for a while.  
  
Elessar: what do you want?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: I want to help you.  
  
Elessar: with what?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: you know.  
  
Elessar: how can you know this and why should we trust you?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: well, if I told you that you alone have no chance against the dark lord, would you have a choice?  
  
Agent_Smith: are you offering help?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: yes.  
  
Agent_Smith: well, okay then. Offer away.  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: tell you what.. you want to know who I am? Go to the Black Cat Nightclub on 26th and Abbey tomorrow night at 10 PM. Then, all day on the 22nd, we can all gather and plan out the whole attack. Have members of your group do three different karaoke songs from the same Musical and, immediately after the last one, meet me in the back by the pay phone.  
  
Elessar: why the wait and why the Karaoke?  
  
The_fool_on_the_hill: the wait because I'm not currently in New York and I've got some travel to do tomorrow afternoon. The karaoke because I'm amused to see Frodo sing.  
  
Elessar: We'll pass that on.  
  
THE_FOOL_ON_THE_HILL HAS LEFT THE CHATROOM  
  
~*~  
  
The man leaned back on two legs of his chair and put his feet on the desk. He looked much different from how he had back home- for which he was thankful. He had arrived several months before they had, setting himself up with an apartment in London and creating a false life to live under until they arrived and gathered. He would help them, and then maybe he'd stay in this world. He quite liked it here.it was more corrupt than back home, but there were some good things. There was more culture in this place. Especially New York, where he'd be going. The whole city came alive after dark, with the lights.the people. the sights, sounds, and smells of millions of people living their lives in complete ignorance of the threat which had so terrified Middle Earth for centuries.  
  
~*~  
  
Elessar: So, do we trust him?  
  
Agent_Smith: I'd say so. But we have to be careful.  
  
Elessar: okay, I'll be on guard. Meet tomorrow, Nine AM, tea shop?  
  
Agent_Smith: okay.  
  
~*~  
  
The next afternoon, we had all gathered at the small apartment that Frodo and I now shared, overlooking Central Park.  
  
"But this guy can't be good, can he?" Ivy asked thickly through a mouthful of pizza.  
  
"Well." Elrond said, "He could be. There are forces in Middle Earth who are strong enough to come here. And It's a worthwhile gamble, providing we are careful."  
  
"So what's this he wants us to do?" I asked.  
  
"He wants us to go to the Black Cat Nightclub, 26th and Abbey, at ten tonight. Then he wants us to do three Karaoke songs from the same musical and meet him by the pay phone in the back right after the third one."  
  
"Hmmm." I said, stroking my chin.  
  
"Leah!" My friend Nikki practically yelled at me. "You do NOT have a goatee!"  
  
I ignored her, continuing to stare off into space.  
  
"That look can only mean one thing." Frodo said.  
  
"I've got an idea!"  
  
"Uh-oh," chorused everyone in the room except Elrond and Aragorn, who exchanged amused glances, and Merry and Pippin, who exchanged evil looks.  
  
"What is it?" Legolas asked, afraid.  
  
"Karaoke."  
  
"Uh-Oh," Andrea said, starting to panic.  
  
"Okay," I said, looking around the circle. "Do I make Frodo sing the Shipoopi or that song that Billy Flynn sings?"  
  
"The Shipoopi?" Legolas said, bewildered.  
  
"Ye Gads!" Andrea said. "Not the Shipoopi!"  
  
"Oh, why do I have to sing?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Because you're you."  
  
"Why me? Why not.Legolas?" he asked, pinning the focus on the oblivious elf.  
  
"Wha-What?" Legolas asked. I giggled.  
  
"You just have to, Fro-Fro."  
  
"And don't call me Fro-Fro!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"It's not manly."  
  
"You? Manly? Ha."  
  
"Yes, Manly," he said, flexing.  
  
"Anyway, it looks like you're stuck as Billy Flynn."  
  
"No. I refuse to sing."  
  
"You sing in the shower."  
  
"That's besides the point."  
  
"But you've got a great voice!"  
  
"No, I haven't. And I don't want to sing."  
  
"Then I'll make you want to."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Hey.Frodo," Elrond cut in. "the stranger DID say he wanted to hear you sing karaoke."  
  
"Well, Frodo," I said, crossing my arms and legs, "Don't think you're getting any unless you sing."  
  
"Oooh.going Lysistrata on him, eh?" Rachel said, grinning evilly.  
  
"Ooh..while we're talking Chicago, maybe we should 'convince' the guys to sing the Cell Block Tango?" Nikki said.  
  
"Hehe.excellent idea." I said.  
  
"Oh, shit." Legolas said.  
  
"Kay..I'll let you off the hook if you sing with the other guys."  
  
"But what if they don't want to?"  
  
"I think they can be convinced. Right, ladies?" I looked at both Nikkis, Rachel, Andrea, and Ivy.  
  
" I think so," Ivy said.  
  
"Oh, shit," chorused the guys.  
  
~*~  
  
I wrote down on a scrap of paper:  
  
"Pop" - Merry  
  
"Six" - Sam G.  
  
"Squish" - Leggy  
  
"Uh-Uh" - Sam B.  
  
"Cicero" - Frodo  
  
"Lipschitz" - Pippin  
  
"hehe," I said. "Perfect."  
  
~*~  
  
"Now," Frodo said, after having gone through the simple dance and the song for the eighteenth time, "What song are you going to sing, Leah?"  
  
"Huh? Me?" I asked, feigning innocence.  
  
"Yes, You."  
  
"Hehe.. Leah, you oughta sing the Billy Flynn song." Nikki said.  
  
"Which one?" I asked.  
  
"You know, 'All I Care About is Love'?"  
  
"Hmmm..I guess I could. What about the third song?"  
  
"Ooh..how about getting your daughter to sing Roxie's first song?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know, the one dedicated to her dearest darling husband?"  
  
"Oh, THAT song. You sure Leggy would be okay with that little.twist?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure he'd love it," She said, snickering.  
  
"Uh-Oh," Frodo and Legolas said.  
  
"Okay, will you sing, Nikki?" I asked my daughter.  
  
"I'll give it a shot," She said. "If I can get the words."  
  
Seeing as how we still had a few hours left, I asked Nikki, the other Nikki, and Rachel to come into the other room, with the other CD player. Luckily, Rachel had brought her CDs too, so we had a spare copy of the disk. I told the guys to keep practicing.  
  
When we entered the other room and closed the door, I put the CD in the stereo. "Okay then. From the top." My friend Nikki pushed play and the music filled the room. I learned that my daughter had a pretty good voice, and she was quick to learn the words. After about four times of listening to the song, she had learned most of the words.  
  
~*~  
  
"Alright," Elrond said at nine as we left the apartment. "I'll meet you there."  
  
"Where are you going?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"I gotta swing by the apartment and pick up a couple of things. See you at the Black Cat Nightclub."  
  
"Okay." We all piled into my car, Aragorn's car, and Andrea's car. Aragorn started to drive, and Andrea and I followed him.  
  
~*~  
  
Elrond snickered as he piled the wigs and the pants into a plastic bag. The six pairs of pants were fixed with some of the same magic as was used on rings of power, so that they would fit anyone. Ah, it was irony that something that could rule the world could have the same properties as kinky clothing. Also, he had a couple of wigs with a similar property that would allow the fake hair to change style, length, and color.  
  
~*~  
  
"No!" Frodo said. "I refuse."  
  
"They turn you into a sex bomb." Legolas said, admiring his own reflection in the mirror. A disgusted look came over Frodo's face. "I don't even want to know how you know that." He said.  
  
"Aww, c'mon, Frodo," Pippin said. "They're quite stylish."  
  
"No. No, No, NO!"  
  
"Dad," Sam said, "If you don't wear them, I'll tell mom about that thing at the Prancing Pony."  
  
"What thing?"  
  
"You know.THE THING?"  
  
"Oh.the thing. Okay, fine, I'll wear them. On one condition."  
  
"Which is?" Merry asked.  
  
Frodo rounded on Elrond. "That you NEVER tell me where you got these pants or why you just happened to have them lying around."  
  
~*~  
  
The six shirtless, leather-pants-clad men got up onstage. They were wearing nothing but leather pants, which actually were slit to mid-thigh and fastened, as far as anyone could tell, with only Velcro on either side and were sewn together in the crotch. The crowd, now mostly consisting of straight women and gay men, whistled and cheered as the six stood there. The music cued, and they began to sing as the crowd quieted slightly. Soon, it was time for Merry's big solo.  
  
"You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like.Bernie. Bernie, he liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. Well, I came home this one day and I'm really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Bernie- Lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. POPPIN'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... In.to.his.head."  
  
Then they all sang.  
  
"He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha you would  
  
Have done the same!  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha you would  
  
Have done the same!  
  
He had it coming  
  
He had it coming  
  
He only had himself to blame  
  
If you'd have been there  
  
If you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha you would  
  
Have dome the same!"  
  
Now Samwise stepped forward. "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago. And he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."  
  
They sang the chorus again and the crowd cheered madly. I was thoroughly enjoying the sight of them being so foolish and, I couldn't deny, the eye candy of Frodo in leather.  
  
Then Legolas stepped up and my daughter grinned.  
  
"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. 'You been screwin' the milkman,' he says. He was crazy. And he kept screamin', 'You been screwin' the milkman.' And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!"  
  
Then my son stepped up and mouthed the part that wasn't in English. I had asked the karaoke DJ, who, fortunately, knew the musical well, to turn up the lyrics on that verse so Sam would just have to mouth it. Sam didn't do too good of a job, and everyone laughed. He blushed but grinned.  
  
Then Frodo stepped up. I catcalled loudly. A few people eyed me, but I didn't care.  
  
"My sister, Veronica and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one night before the show, we were down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin' havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I go out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen- the spread eagle. Well.I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead."  
  
The others joined in.  
  
"They had it coming  
  
They had it coming  
  
They had it coming all along  
  
I didn't do it  
  
But if I'd done it  
  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?"  
  
Finally, it was Pippin's turn.  
  
"I loved that Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."  
  
They sang through the ending chorus and then it was the finale.  
  
"You pop that gum one more time!" Merry said.  
  
"Single my ass." Sam practically yelled.  
  
"Ten times!" Legolas bellowed.  
  
"Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe." The lyrics said, as Sam mouthed it.  
  
"Number seventeen-the spread eagle." Frodo said, with an eyebrow raised at me.  
  
"How about that? We've never tried it that way before." He asked, mentally.  
  
"Not tonight."  
  
"Aww, Why not?"  
  
"Too busy saving the world."  
  
"Artistic differences." Pippin finished off.  
  
Then they all sang:  
  
"I betcha you would have done the same!"  
  
They ended this as Elrond instructed, by ripping off the pants, revealing white boxers with big red polka dots. The crowd roared and laughed, some cheering through tears of mirth. They walked offstage, and several cries of "Encore!" could be heard.  
  
~*~  
  
Forty-five minutes later, we decided it was time for Nikki's song. I approached the DJ once more.  
  
"Chicago again?" She asked. "Boy, I don't know when I've had so much fun."  
  
They're taken," I said, with just a hint of aggression so she would get the point. I didn't want her trying anything with any of them.  
  
"Ooh, aren't you the lucky one? Which one is yours?"  
  
I grinned. "Cicero," I said. "Ooh, he's a cutie. Almost as sweet as my Joey."  
  
"Joey?" I asked. I knew my old friend Joey had moved to New York, and I knew he had a wife now. "Joey Hohler?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Really? I used to be good friends with him."  
  
"Oh, wow! It really is a small world!"  
  
"So, what's he up to now?"  
  
"Well, he's got a temp job right now as one of the publicity managers for Santana. It's an old musical group."  
  
"Santana?" I couldn't believe my ears.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Wow.cool! Hey, can I get your guys' number? Maybe we could get together sometime. I haven't seen Joey in years. It'd be nice to see him again. Platonically, of course," I said, noticing the slightly alarmed look on her face.  
  
"Sure." She grabbed one of her business cards and jotted down her phone number on the back.  
  
"Here ya go! Now, what'll it be?"  
  
"Chicago again. Ummm..Funny Honey. Roxie's first song."  
  
"Ooh, I love that one. Who's singing?"  
  
"You know the blonde from Cell Block Tango? The 'Ten times' guy?"  
  
"Him?"  
  
"No, his girlfriend."  
  
She laughed and pulled out the disk. "Hey, what's your name, anyway?"  
  
"Leah. And you're.?"  
  
"Ellie."  
  
"Nice to meet you." I held out a hand and she shook it and popped in the disk.  
  
"There ya go. It'll be up at the end of this song, 'bout forty seconds."  
  
"Kay, thanks!"  
  
"No problem. You oughta sing something.maybe a Billy Flynn tune or something."  
  
"Maybe I'll do that."  
  
I ran to find Nikki. She was standing with Legolas near the place where the Karaoke singers got on and offstage. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and was whispering in her ear. He refrained from the whisper just long enough to place kisses all over her face and look into her eyes. She smiled, laughed a bit. I caught her eye over Legolas' shoulder and she nodded.  
  
~*~  
  
I was onstage, and I was nervous as hell. Why did I have to sing? Why not someone who had grown up with the words? I was superconcious of every little thing- my hair, my clothing, what I was doing with my hands. The music started and Leah ran up and grabbed the black and silver thing- a microphone, she'd called it- from my hand.  
  
"For her first number, Miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her dear husband." She paused for a split second. "Leggy."  
  
"Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but he doesn't care- he'll string along. He loves me so, that funny honey of mine," I sang. I could see him, grinning. I flashed him a winning smile.  
  
"Sometimes I'm down, sometimes I'm up- but he follows round like some droopy-eyed pup. He loves me so that funny honey of mine." He continued to smile.  
  
"He ain't no sheik.that's no great physique. And lord knows he ain't got the smarts." His smile dropped a bit, and he looked confused.  
  
But look at that soul- I'll tell you that whole is a whole lot greater that the sum of his parts And if you knew him like me I know you'd agree What if the world slandered my name? Why he'd be right there, taking the blame. He loves me so, and it all suits me fine.that sunny funny honey hubby of mine. He loves me so- that funny honey of mine." The smile was back.  
  
"Lord knows he ain't got the smarts. Now he shot off his trap- I can't stand that sap! Look at him go.rattin' on me.with just one more brain, what a half-wit he'd be. If they string me up, I'll know who brought the twine. That scummy. crummy. dummy. hubby of mine."  
  
I finished, and the smile was gone, replaced by a smirk of laughter. The younger people in the crowd wondered what all these old-timers were doing in the club. The older women in the crowd clapped and the older men in the crowd catcalled and yelled rude or suggestive comments. When I heard a few of these, I winked suggestively, and raised an eyebrow.  
  
~*~  
  
"M'kay, El.I'm ready. Billy Flynn number one." It was nearing eleven thirty, and we had to meet this contact and go home to sleep so that, the next day, we'd have time to plan.  
  
"Damn.not the puppets? That would have been great."  
  
"Well, it would have taken more time to prepare for than I had."  
  
"Ah..well.track five it is, then."  
  
"Memorized it? That's impressive. And weird."  
  
"Thank you. About two minutes."  
  
I went back into the crowd, where a guy who was completely smashed was incomprehensibly banging out the lyrics for some rap song. I walked over to my friends. I went up to my friends- Nikki, Rachel, Andrea, and Ivy and asked them to back me up for the song. Elrond looked up at this.  
  
"No." I said. "It's weird enough to be singing a guy's song, but the skimpy outfits would be excessive weirdness and it would scare me, too."  
  
They agreed, and soon they were up onstage, and I was waiting to the side.  
  
"We. want. billy.Where. is. billy.Give. us. billy.We. want. billy. b... i. double l. y, we're. all. his. he's. our. kind of a guy.and ooh, what luck, cause here. he. is." My friends sang, and I came onstage.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the silver-tongued prince of the courtroom, the one, the only, Billy Flynn!" Nikki said into the mike, and handed it off to me.  
  
"I don't care about expensive things- cashmere coats, diamond rings. Don't mean a thing, all I care about is love- that's what I'm here for. I don't care for wearing silk cravats, ruby studs, satin spats- don't mean a thing, all I care about is love.Give me two eyes of blue, softly say, "I need you", let me see her standing there and- honest mister- I'm a millionaire. I don't care for any fine attire Vanderbilt might admire, No, no, not me, all I care about is love. Show me long, Raven hair, flowing down 'bout to there.When I see her running free, keep your money, that's enough for me." I sang. Frodo beamed at me, and I winked at him.  
  
"All I care about is doing a guy in who's picking on you- twisting the wrist that's turning the screw.All I care about is love."  
  
I finished off, and was assaulted by clapping and catcalls. I could see Elrond and Aragorn, waiting in the back and, as I headed offstage, saw a person in black with short brown hair come up to them. I frowned and the five of us walked back to the group. We then all headed back to where the three now stood talking.  
  
~*~  
  
"Now, then- how exactly do you plan to conquer.him?" The stranger asked.  
  
"Who are you?" Elrond asked.  
  
"You still haven't figured that out? Well, I shall leave you in the dark for now. So, what's your plan?"  
  
"Not until we know your name." Aragorn said.  
  
"Alright." The stranger said. "But do not mention any names! The enemy has spies, we must be careful. It is I, the white rider."  
  
Aragorn smiled in recognition of the face he'd hoped belonged to the one he hadn't seen in so long.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Mr. White."  
  
~*~  
  
Long chapter. Savvy enough for you? Review! Do I even have any readers out there? You people looking for your one-shot NC-17 bits and your short, plotless mary-sues get here, read this and say, using the largest word in your vocabulary, "Huh?"  
  
Lol.well, please leave me a review! This shall only be a few more chapters long. 


	4. When all else fails, fight the bad guy

"Okay," I said, stumbling out of the bathroom and into the room where the guys (having woken up several hours before any of the girls got up) sat around, joking, "Who left the toilet seat up?"  
  
Merry smirked, and looked at Pippin. "Told you so."  
  
"Told me what?! It was you!"  
  
I rolled my eyes and proceeded to make some toast. I looked at the clock. It was eight fifty. I groaned inwardly and put the toast in. I sensed Frodo behind me and I grinned. He put his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder. I covered his hands with my own and he placed a soft kiss on my neck. We both sighed in unison.  
  
"I love you," I whispered. For a moment, I thought he hadn't heard me. Then his voice came in my head.  
  
"What are we going to do when this is over?"  
  
"Get dead drunk and celebrate."  
  
He smiled. "No, I mean, what are we going to do? Where are we going?"  
  
"Well, we could go back to Middle Earth."  
  
"Yeah.but would you want to? You seem pretty well settled here."  
  
"But here holds no meaning. It's Middle Earth where my heart lies. And sure, this world has its perks. But, really, if I lived forty years in Middle Earth, I could live till the end of my days there. But would I be able to go back?"  
  
"Why wouldn't you?"  
  
"I'm dead, remember?"  
  
"Well, I've been trying to push that away since I got here. I'd almost forgotten, trying to find you."  
  
"So.I guess I have to stay here."  
  
"I wish."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
"No, really, what?"  
  
"I wish that it had been me instead of you."  
  
I turned around in his arms and looped my hands behind his neck.  
  
"Frodo, if I had my whole life to live over again, that would be on the top of the list of things I would not change. I do not regret the sacrifices I've made. My intention in that was not to be a hero, but to save you."  
  
"But I knew it was coming. I could have stopped it. I could have."  
  
"No," I said, putting a finger to his lips. "You could not have changed it. And I don't truly believe I could have changed it, either, even if I had wanted to."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Frodo, do you realize that it's better this way?"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Frodo.if it had been you instead of me, we wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be saying this; you wouldn't have your arms around me. You didn't come from a different world, but I did. That means that now, we're both alive. I'm here, you're here, and we're together. And that's all that has to matter."  
  
He smiled and kissed me gently. I pulled away when he was just about to deepen the kiss.  
  
"Hold that thought."  
  
"Until when?" he asked, half-complaining.  
  
"Until tomorrow."  
  
"Who knows if it will come?" he muttered, as I turned away to tend to my rumbling stomach.  
  
"It will." I said.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"I have my ways," I said, turning to him and tapping his nose with my finger.  
  
~*~  
  
"Okay.so.what are we going to do? We still don't have any sort of a plan." Pippin said.  
  
"YOU don't have any sort of a plan, my dear hobbit."  
  
"Hee hee.Merry, she called me her 'dear hobbit'."  
  
I glared at Pippin mock-threateningly, but then grinned.  
  
"Okay.here's the plan. One of us will be the decoy. Gandalf, you said that Sauron has possessed Wormtongue?"  
  
The wizard nodded.  
  
"Shit, that man doesn't die. How does he keep coming back?"  
  
"He's perhaps more powerful than we previously imagined."  
  
"He's mortal, though."  
  
"Apparently not. He's been 'killed' several times now."  
  
"Well."  
  
"By the hobbits, after Frodo's first journey. By several blows, at Cirith Ungol. And then, the third time, at Khazad-Dum."  
  
"Is it possible that he's been possessed by Sauron ever since before that? That would make sense.since he's unable to be destroyed?"  
  
"Not much is known of the origins of Sauron, but he is immortal. Or so it would seem."  
  
"Damn.okay. So, as we all know, Wormtongue is very fond of what he would deem 'intellectual engagement'. We need to set up a decoy who he would see as worthy of talking to."  
  
"And who would that be, exactly?" Frodo asked, in a way that made it very clear that he knew who I had in mind.  
  
I sighed. "Me."  
  
"But why you? I'll go instead." Frodo said.  
  
"No. I'm the one he'll want. I've gotten out of worse scrapes before, I can do it again."  
  
"No.please, Leah.let me go," he pleaded, though he knew it would be fruitless.  
  
"I'm going, and that's settled. Now, I looked at my list, and it looks as though in each element there is a couple.that is, a girl and a guy who are romantically involved. So- for the Fire couple, I chose Rachel and Sam Gamgee. For Earth, it's Ivy and Merry. For Air, Nikki and Leggy-" Legolas glared- "And for Water, the other Nikki and Sam."  
  
Elrond spoke up. "No. Use yourself and Frodo for Earth."  
  
"Why?" I asked, puzzled.  
  
"Trust me," He said.  
  
"Okay..so, Frodo and I for Earth. Sorry, Ivy, sorry, Merry."  
  
"So.I have eight pendants and four scarves in this bag." I pulled out a medium-sized green knit bag. I emptied its contents onto the table. Inside were green, yellow, blue, and red scarves, along with eight small metal pendants inlaid with stone on metal chains. These were four pairs of matching pendants- two were inlaid with agate, with a swirl in the middle, two were inlaid with carnelian, with a fire rune in the middle, two were inlaid with sapphire with three squiggly lines in the center, and the fourth pair were inlaid with emerald and had a carving of a tree and the surrounding hillside in the center. I handed the agate pendants to Nikki and Legolas, the carnelian pendants to Rachel and Sam Gamgee, the sapphire pendants to Nikki and Sam, and then gave one of the emerald pendants to Frodo and kept one for myself.  
  
"Put them on," I instructed.  
  
"Where'd you get these?" Rachel asked. "They're beautiful."  
  
"Yeah," Nikki snickered, throwing a look at Andrea. "They're beautiful, you should get one in every color."  
  
"Shut up," Andrea muttered.  
  
"An old funky junk shop."  
  
"So what are the scarves for?" Elrond asked.  
  
"We get each couple in a different area near Wormtongue when Elrond summons the portal, wearing the pendants and each person in the couple holding a corner of the scarf. The scarves are for color symbolism."  
  
"Okay.then what?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Well, I go to wherever he is. I do whatever it takes to get to where the portal is being summoned, and where the other seven of you are. Then I get my ass over to Frodo and to the other end of the green scarf, and then abracadabra, no more Sauron."  
  
"It's so crazy, it just might work." Aragorn said.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hello? Is this Joey Hohler?"  
  
"Why, yes. May I ask who this is?"  
  
"Leah Underhill. Do you-"  
  
"Leah Underhill?! Wow...it's been so long! How are you doing, love?!"  
  
"Oh, I'm pretty good."  
  
"Hey, right now I can't talk, but we should get together sometime. Hey, d'you wanna come to the Santana concert tonight? I can get you tickets, backstage passes, a whole bunch of shit."  
  
"Well.I'd love to, but I've got some friends visiting right now, so-"  
  
"Well, how many of them are there?"  
  
"Ummm.fourteen. Including me."  
  
"I can get you all in for free.backstage passes, the whole works."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Sure. I'm going town to Central park right now to set up. Come on down and I'll get you your tickets and stuff."  
  
"Okay. I'll meet you at the north benches at noon?"  
  
"Sounds great!"  
  
"M'kay. See you then!"  
  
"Kay..Buh-bye."  
  
"Bye!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Alright.Ladies and gentlemen.and Legolas."  
  
"Hey!" Legolas exclaimed after about five seconds of working it out.  
  
"I have got us backstage passes for tonight."  
  
"Yes!" Aragorn said. "Victory dance. Backstage passes for Santana!"  
  
"Not to meet them, Aragorn. To go backstage, so we can defeat Sauron, who is powerful enough to kick our asses?"  
  
"Oh yeah.him." Aragorn said.  
  
~*~  
  
Elrond and Gandalf had, earlier that day, risked looking in the palantir to catch a glimpse of what Wormtongue looked like in this world. When we arrived at the concert, they scanned through the crowd to find him. He was in the corner. He looked very much at home in this crowd, with short, somewhat spiky hair, dark glasses, and dark clothing. Very Matrix-esque.  
  
"Alright," I said. I'll lure him over to that area," I said, pointing to a small group of trees to the right of the stage. The area was clear of people and equipment, and had several small bushes where the seven elementals could hide. Elrond, Gandalf, be ready to summon it very quickly. How long will it take once you start?"  
  
"Thirty seconds at least," Elrond said. "Give us a signal and count thirty seconds before going over to Frodo."  
  
"Okay, I'll.cross my arms, shall I?"  
  
Elrond nodded.  
  
"Be careful," Frodo said. I put on my brown jacket to shield against the wind which was picking up. I kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"I will." I took one last loving look into the depths of his eyes and started to turn away when he placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned back to him.  
  
"Leah.there's something I want to tell you, if."  
  
"I'm coming back."  
  
"You're right. I'll tell you later."  
  
"Okay. Tell them to get ready. Have the scarf ready."  
  
"Alright. I love you," He said, almost pleadingly.  
  
"I'll be okay," I said. "It'll work out."  
  
"I know. Go, you don't have much time."  
  
Everyone mingled away, making their way bit by bit over to the small clearing in the park. I saw Frodo watch me move over to the side area, where Wormtongue sat. I put on some dark sunglasses in hopes that, just maybe, he wouldn't recognize me. Suddenly I desperately wished I had a sword with me. The old familiar of a sword hung by my belt would have been infinitely more comforting than the emptiness that now took its place. I wondered if I should confront him or play dumb. When I had almost reached the edge of the crowd, I decided confrontation would be best.  
  
"Alright," I said firmly, approaching him. "Get over here, asshole."  
  
"Excuse me?" he asked, so sincerely that for a second I wondered if Elrond and Gandalf had made a mistake. Then I recognized the faint smirk on his face.  
  
"You heard me. Get over there, out of earshot."  
  
"May I ask why I shouldn't just kill you now?"  
  
"Because you're standing in a crowd of people. And," I added hesitantly, "Wouldn't it be so much more satisfying to kill the other members of my fellowship, too?"  
  
I felt guilty immediately after having said this but realized that leverage was necessary.  
  
"Alright, brat. Over to this clearing."  
  
I praised whatever forces made him say that, and also whatever forces made him turn and lead the way. He must have been confident that Sauron's power was too great for me alone to defeat, which it was.  
  
It was about a hundred feet to the small clearing. As we neared it, a hand I recognized as belonging to Legolas reached out and handed me a sword. My sword. Frodo must have brought it with him somehow. It was very comforting to carry that familiar weight again; no matter what funny looks I received from innocent passerby.  
  
We entered the clearing and, with a sweep of Wormtongue's hand, there was suddenly a sort of barrier surrounding the clearing.  
  
"No one can get in or out, no one can see in." He said, and drew a sword from where had previously been air. I bit my lip nervously and crossed my arms (rather awkwardly, due to the fact I was still holding a sword).  
  
"So," I said, beginning to mentally count, "What? Not talking, just violence?"  
  
"Well, what would you have me say?"  
  
"Well, normally you like to engage in what you consider to be 'intelligent' conversation."  
  
"Well."  
  
I could not let him have the upper hand, so I interrupted him.  
  
"Let me ask you something. Why don't you ever die?"  
  
"Sauron took precautions long ago to make sure that his spirit would never be fully lost. I suppose, as long as I'm going to kill you, that there's no harm in telling you the Ring wasn't the only thing that Sauron poured his power into."  
  
"What else was there?"  
  
"Something that only he and one other knew existed. You could only find it if you already knew where it was. And so he keeps it well guarded in the unlikeliest of places, with all sorts of protection he never used on the Rings of Power. But, now, to work."  
  
He put up his sword and my counting reached thirty. I dodged out of the way, and a blue orb started to encompass the clearing. I dove for where Frodo stood. But something went wrong. I never made it to Frodo. I felt this feeling for a moment like agonizing heat, then complete emptiness, no feeling or sense of gravity, vision, or any feeling at all. Suddenly I was hyper-aware; my feet were on the ground, I was suddenly back in clothing such as what I'd wear back home in Middle-Earth, My sword felt cool in my hand. The wind blew through my hair, and I could feel a thin sheen of seat covering my face, arms, and legs. However, I was not a hobbit. I was a human.  
  
"Shit," I muttered. "What the hell?"  
  
"Well, Leah.It looks like it's just you and me."  
  
"Yeah.Three's company, I guess."  
  
"Are you ready to die?"  
  
"Just like last time, I guess."  
  
"Ah, yes, so you remember your last little episode. Well, this time it will be for good.in any world!"  
  
He charged at me and I could almost sense he would do so before he moved. He swung his sword at me, and I blocked it effortlessly. He jabbed in to get me, and I blocked this too. I made a counter-attack, sweeping in from the side, and actually got close enough to slash his cloak.  
  
"You think fighting me will be of any use? I can't die!"  
  
"No, but you may be subdued."  
  
"You, however, are as mortal as any other being on this planet and will die."  
  
I found myself about thirty feet away from him. I brandished my sword and held it above my head and ran at him. He blocked all of my attacks. I always got close, but not close enough. Then his sword was flat against mine, both of us unyielding.  
  
"Not if I can help it." I said, and pulled back to drive my sword straight into his chest. I then pulled it out and continued to block and counter- attack. He paused while a few feet from me, touched two fingers delicately to his blood-soaked tunic. He held them up, and the faint sun shone on the blood, red as a rose.  
  
"It's of no concern," he said, and went back to fighting. Twice more I ran him through with my sword, and each time the wound showed but did not affect his stamina. He got close to getting to me, but I dodged each blow with surprising ease.  
  
"So what'll it be, girl? You're not going to win."  
  
"I've won already."  
  
"How?"  
  
"By not giving into your bullshit," I went back into fighting mode and gave him a blow which left a slit from nose to ear.  
  
"You are going to die," He screamed. I saw something over his shoulder and heard a voice inside my head.  
  
"So be it," I said. I knelt down and dropped my sword. His eyes widened and he hesitated, before he lunged for me. A quick roll to my right and in a few moments, I was on my feet and he toppled over for lack of balance. I drove my sword into his chest, flipped him over with my foot, and had him pinned there.  
  
"Leah!" Frodo called. It was his face I'd seen over Wormtongue's shoulder, encapsuled in a glowing blue orb. I gave Wormtongue one last blow and then ran as fast as my feet could carry me to Frodo, who was hobbit and thus about two feet shorter than me. I almost laughed at this but then realized this was serious. I could tease him about it later. "Grab on!" he said, and out of the blue orb came a hand with a Forest green scarf hanging out of it.  
  
"Leah." He said anxiously, "Hurry." I looked behind me as I grabbed the scarf and there was Wormtongue, running at me. Just as his blow fell, I closed my eyes and once more felt an immense heat, but not before I felt a sharp pain spread throughout my entire back.  
  
~*~ 


	5. When All Else Fails, ummfind a new chapt...

Chapter Six Doesn't a Déjà vu mean a glitch in the Matrix?  
  
~*~  
  
We arrived at Mirkwood court and I was amazed . . . Great fires roared, and Wood-Elves were everywhere, drinking, talking, and singing. Comfortable chairs were everywhere, and it was quite a sight. Suddenly a thin stream of a pure, solid voice trickled through to our ears, rising up to drown out the rest of the hall.  
  
I tier oiale peluviar Nuello I non 'lagyes ndu Si hae palan I tier peler A im kele khil asca tier Farothyes soronoly  
  
"How did they--?" Frodo asked in amazement, looking at Gandalf."  
  
"One can only assume they heard it from Bilbo," Gandalf said with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
I looked around, confused, and then suddenly the tune registered in my head. It was the walking song, in elvish. I laughed, and continued to take in the beauty of the great hall of Mirkwood. We were led by a she-elf in a flowing green dress to where King Thranduil sat.  
  
"Well, if it isn't the cowardly princeling," he said. "What became of your. consort?" he sneered.  
  
Legolas closed his eyes and calmed himself. Nikki looked at him, bewildered.  
  
He opened his eyes again, and glared at Thranduil. "We need to put away our differences and just get through this, then I'll be gone."  
  
"Of course you will," Thranduil sneered. "Back to your cowardly whore?"  
  
Legolas started forward, but Aragorn put out his hand.  
  
"Calm down, Legolas," He said in an undertone to the prince.  
  
"We just need to sort this out, and get some help," He said to Thranduil. "We need to defeat Sauron, all we're asking is one night's peace and a few days' provisions."  
  
"Defeat Sauron, you say?"  
  
"Yes," Gandalf said.  
  
"And just how do you propose to do that? Sauron's One Ring of Power has surfaced and been destroyed twice. What are you going to do different?"  
  
"It has been discovered that Sauron's source of power was not the one ring of power as had once been thought. Just as Gondor's White Tree-" Pippin's ears perked up- "Mordor had its tree. It seems as though the Valar do have their sense of balance and symmetry."  
  
"So what do you propose we do?" Thranduil sneered.  
  
"The black tree of Mordor grows and thrives not in Mordor itself. Nothing can grow in that foul land. Rather, it takes its residence in your kingdom."  
  
"Preposterous. We would have known."  
  
"We did not know ourselves until recently. Sauron has blinded us from this truth."  
  
"Mithrandir, if Mordor takes its power from Mirkwood, why do we still survive here, completely unaware to the apparent danger?"  
  
"I do not know. All I know is that the black tree must be destroyed. We cannot simply let it thrive. Therefore, we must find it and destroy it."  
  
"How do you propose to do that?"  
  
"Burn it."  
  
"How can you do that? The One Ring could not be destroyed by ordinary means, what makes you think the black tree could be?"  
  
"We have to try."  
  
~*~ 


	6. when all else fails, end the story

Chapter Seven Narquendiel  
  
~*~  
  
"Listen," Legolas said to Nikki, "Don't worry about my father. He may seem cruel and terrible, but he's all bluff."  
  
"What.what did he mean by what he said?"  
  
"It meant that."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Nikki, I need to tell you about my past."  
  
Silence prevailed for a moment, then Legolas took Nikki's hand between both of his.  
  
"Nikki, before I met you, before I even joined the original fellowship, Narquendiel and I were in love."  
  
Nikki's eyes began to glaze slightly with tears but she kept her silence and resolve.  
  
"We were betrothed. She came to Mirkwood, and we fell in love. She was Galadriel's granddaughter, Arwen Undomiel's cousin. Narquendiel was to live in Mirkwood and become situated for two years before we married. But then she and I."  
  
A tear rolled down the elf's cheek as painful memories flooded back. Nikki wrapped her arms around him and he choked back a sob.  
  
"Shhh." she said, putting a finger to his lips. "It's okay. You don't have to-"  
  
"No." Legolas interrupted. "You need to know the truth about me and Narquendiel before we marry."  
  
Nikki smiled slightly as she thought back to his proposal in her mother's world.  
  
"Three months before we were to marry, we made love. She fell pregnant, and my father refused to believe that I was the father. Narquendiel was banished for treason because Thranduil believed she had slept with another man."  
  
Nikki's lip trembled.  
  
"I followed her. We met again in Lorien. Elrond came from Rivendell to deliver the baby, but his skills were not enough. Narquendiel had a miscarriage."  
  
Nikki sobbed quietly.  
  
"Galadriel told me what had happened had happened for a reason. Now I understand what that reason is."  
  
"And what is it?" Nikki asked, her face contorted with tears.  
  
"Two things. If the baby had lived, I would not have gone to the council of Elrond, and would never have been a part of the fellowship."  
  
"And the second reason?"  
  
Legolas put a finger under Nikki's chin.  
  
"You."  
  
~*~  
  
Leah Underhill and Frodo Baggins slept peacefully, arms wrapped around each other. The night was silent, peaceful. The bowstings of the Mirkwood elves were not taut, and no evil thing stirred in the forest.  
  
Frodo awoke in the dark. Somehow, it was the most peace and happiness he had ever felt. The dark covered him like a thick blanket, Leah's breath was soft and even, and everything was reminiscent of the calm before the storm they all knew was coming. But one thing was different this time:  
  
He was not afraid.  
  
~*~  
  
A soft knock came on the door. Nikki, still awake, got up and answered it tentatively.  
  
Thranduil, King of Mirkwood, stood in the doorway. He looked very tired, and bore no crown, nor any other sign that he was royalty.  
  
"Hello." Was all he said. Nikki bowed her head slightly, uncertain of what was expected of her. Thranduil chuckled at this.  
  
"Don't treat me like any king. I've been no king to anyone."  
  
Nikki, confused, opened the door.  
  
"Come in," she said. She pulled the two chairs that were in the corner over to the edge of the bed where Legolas lay, sheets wrapped around him. Thranduil took one, and Nikki took the other. The king's eyes looked around the room, examining everything but his son. Then, finally, his eyes came to rest on his son's face, now peaceful.  
  
"Has he told you about.her?" he asked Nikki, his eyes unmoving.  
  
"Yes," she said.  
  
"I probably was much too hard. Galadriel told me of my mistake, but rather than give in and admit my mistake, I did everything to keep my pride."  
  
Nikki was silent.  
  
"I'm so sorry.It was so painful for them both when I refused to see."  
  
More silence.  
  
"He loves you, doesn't he?"  
  
"Yes," Nikki said, voice barely a whisper.  
  
"And you love him?"  
  
"Yes," she said, with a touch more confidence. "But I don't know how it will ever work out. He's an elf, and I'm mortal."  
  
Thranduil smiled. "You know, there have been cases of an immortal giving up that immortality for the love of a mortal."  
  
"But he wouldn't."  
  
"Yes he would. I've seen the way he looks at you."  
  
"I wouldn't want him to."  
  
"And if he wants to?"  
  
"Well, I don't know."  
  
Thranduil laughed softly. "We shall see."  
  
~*~  
  
Leah woke up. Frodo had shifted, and seemed to be moving to get out of bed. His soft lips touched hers, and she took him by surprise, kissing him back suddenly. He gave out a noise of surprise and lay back down next to her. She put a hand to the back of his head and pulled him in farther, deepening the kiss even more.  
  
"Leah.wow."  
  
"Frodo, I want to talk to you about something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What happens after. after this is over?"  
  
"For good?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I don't know. What do you want?"  
  
"I don't know what I want. I want to go home, but I need you."  
  
Frodo smiled. "We've had our share of years together. That's not to say I'm getting tired of it, or that I ever would, but I just need you to know that if you want to go home, I think that's what you should do."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because that's where you're rooted. As much time as you've spent here, I think you're better off back home.especially now, when your life as a hobbit is gone. Don't factor my feelings for you in, either."  
  
"Why not? They're important."  
  
"Yes, but they will exist whether or not you're with me. I think you know that, as many times as it's been proven."  
  
Leah pulled him in again, kissed him.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
~*~  
  
Two humans, Four Hobbits, one half-hobbit, two elves, and one of the great Istari of old- a stranger company had never passed through Mirkwood forest. Yet, the business they intended to carry through had never been heard of before, either.  
  
The latest fellowship had headed out of Thranduil's hall. He had talked to Legolas at great length, and had patched up some of the old disagreements between them. The ten travelers had then been given oil and matches, when it was decided by Gandalf that burning the tree might be their best try. Now they were to search the forest in hopes of finding the tree.  
  
After several hours of walking, the more annoying hobbits had begun to complain, and so they stopped by a river. Legolas volunteered to keep searching while the others started fixing a meager meal.  
  
However, just as Pippin had started to refill his water bottle at the nearby creek, the company was startled by a yelp. Legolas came rushing in seconds later, out of breath.  
  
"Don't drink the water!" he said.  
  
"Why not?" Aragorn asked. "Thranduil said the running water in this forest was perfectly fine."  
  
"Follow me but a hundred ells and you shall see."  
  
The confused company followed him along the riverbank, bits of lembas and dried meats in their hands.  
  
Finally, they came to what Legolas was worried about.  
  
At the side of the river lay four large, black spiders, like the ones they had earlier fought, dead.  
  
"These beasts were not slain by swords nor by arrows," Legolas said. "Some evil poisons this water."  
  
Gandalf looked at Elrond and Aragorn.  
  
"Is it?" Elrond asked.  
  
"It very well could be," Gandalf said.  
  
They started out walking again, Gandalf leading, following the river upstream. The hobbits kept quiet, knowing that this was important.  
  
Eventually they came to what Gandalf was evidently looking for. In the middle of the stream, which widened gradually, was a small island. Taking up almost the entire island was a foul tree, gnarled and twisted like a ruined thing that was once beautiful. Its bark was black and had many knots, and looked rough even from the far distance at which the company stood.  
  
"Is that.?" Pippin trailed off, mid-sentence, giving voice to the question everyone wanted to ask.  
  
"Yes, Peregrin, there is no mistaking it." Gandalf said. "Well, there is no cure, we must burn it."  
  
The stream was quite wide on their side of the island, and the landing space too small to jump to with accuracy. Legolas insisted they not touch the water, so he cut to lengths of elvish rope, and tied them to two arrows. These he shot into the ground on the island. He, Elrond, and Aragorn walked across, shedding their cloaks and other extra weight, carrying only the oil. They quickly doused the tree in this, throwing the empty cans back to shore. Then they came back over.  
  
Gandalf was getting out the matches when, suddenly, a breeze came upon them sharply from above. Leah looked up, and found herself looking through the tree branches at a large black beast bearing a rider in black. She looked back around, and all she saw was Frodo, looking around at his eight companions that had suddenly fallen over, unconscious. He was bewildered at this sight, as was Leah. She looked back up but the beast had landed, folding its wings to dive through the mass of tree branches. It landed, and the rider's hood fell back to reveal not a disembodied Nazgul, but the last person Leah wanted to ever see again.  
  
Wormtongue.  
  
"Leah, go." Frodo said to her, tossing the matches to her. She caught them but stayed where she was.  
  
"Go! This is more important than me. Go."  
  
Leah, as much as she resented her lack of control, found herself running for the ropes. However, it was too late. One of the beast's great claws reached out and severed the ropes, and its enormous wing folded around Leah. She looked over and her eyes met Frodo's, but they were not fearful, as they had been before.  
  
Before he had been corrupted, burdened.  
  
Before, he had been afraid.  
  
But not this time. This time, he was confident. He drew his sword, and drove it, with unmatched strength, through the beast's wing. It screeched in pain, and he rushed forward as it reared back. He positioned his sword over him, and the monster came back down and unwittingly speared its great throat on the point of Sting. It fell lifeless to the ground as its rider dismounted.  
  
The wing fell down and revealed to Leah that an elf stood on the island with the tree- an elf she recognized from what seemed like a life-age ago.  
  
Narquendiel.  
  
Leah through the Matches with all of her strength to the elf, who caught them, ripped open the package, lit a match, and in two seconds, the tree was ablaze. Narquendiel leaped across the creek, drawing sword in midair. She then turned to Wormtongue, who had already knocked Frodo down and was now advancing on Leah. Narquendiel intercepted the blow meant for Leah, and Leah dropped her sword and ran to Frodo.  
  
Wormtongue, however, seemed to fail in his strength as the black tree burned. The tree seemed to almost evaporate as Leah glanced at it, looking away from Frodo for only a second before turning back to examine his injuries.  
  
The tree seemed to hiss and shrivel, and the earth gave a low rumble that was somewhere in-between a movement and a noise. The flames leapt ever higher as the tree's core caught fire, and as this happened, Wormtongue dropped his sword and bent double. Narquendiel, knowing it was no use to try to kill him, merely kicked his sword into the creek, the water bubbling and steaming.  
  
Finally, the tree crumbled to ashes, and Wormtongue fell, finally dead. Narquendiel sheathed her sword and ran towards Leah and Frodo. Leah had started sobbing wildly, saying nothing but "he's dead, he's dead, he's dead."  
  
Narquendiel picked up the fragile hobbit. She looked down at Leah. "Get Aragorn's cloak," she said. "Lay it on the ground."  
  
Leah continued to cry for a moment before the words registered. She followed these directions as Narquendiel muttered some words to Frodo and then wrapped him in the large cloak.  
  
~*~  
  
Leah woke up in a large bed. Something about this was all too familiar, but she knew that this time, it was different.  
  
She turned to Frodo, who lay next to her, smiling, alive and conscious.  
  
"You're okay!" she exclaimed.  
  
"I'm not doing so well," He corrected. "Elrond and Gandalf both told me that I probably don't honestly have long to live."  
  
Leah's eyes clouded with tears.  
  
"Don't you dare cry," he said, running a thumb across her eyelids to wipe away the mist.  
  
"Why do you have to die?" she asked, close to sobbing. "Why do you have to leave me?"  
  
"Because that's the way things are, melamin."  
  
"But.why does it have to be like this?"  
  
"Oh, it's not so bad. At least this way we get to say goodbye."  
  
"But."  
  
"Shh. Don't you dare start saying something negative. Everybody has a time to go. This is my time. Now, you can either accept that and we can make the best of our time together, or you can deny it and wallow in your grief until I die. Either way I'll die."  
  
Leah choked back a sob. "Alright, I'll try."  
  
"There's a good girl."  
  
Leah smiled, laughed. Kissed Frodo.  
  
"At any rate, I feel like I've at least got one more night in me," he said softly, winking. Leah grinned and kissed him again, and this evolved into their last night together- a night that would remain in both their hearts until the end of time.  
  
~*~  
  
Leah woke to a low moan from Frodo.  
  
"What is it?" she asked frantically.  
  
"Calm down," he whispered. "It's time."  
  
"No," she said. "Please, no.You're going to live. They're wrong.you'll live."  
  
"That's right I will. But not the way you see me now. I'll live in your heart," he said.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes. Leah, I'm tired. I want to go home."  
  
"No.please no."  
  
"I have to. But Leah?"  
  
She finally gave in and seemed to accept the truth.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I want you to live your life. Be passionate about anything and everything, and always remember that I loved you more dearly than life."  
  
Leah nodded.  
  
"Leah?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Leah tore her eyes away and saw that Merry, Pippin, Sam, Gandalf, Legolas, and Aragorn were standing in the doorway. She watched as the hobbits, sobbing, ran over to the edge of the bed. Sam took Frodo's hand, his mouth moving wordlessly. Merry and Pippin each had an arm around each other for support, and they howled with tears as they hugged their cousin. He smiled slightly, concerned at their terrible sadness. Legolas walked over next to Sam, who moved to make room for him. He put a hand to Frodo's forehead and Frodo's eyes closed for a moment, opening when Legolas removed his hand.  
  
"May your passing be peaceful and may your soul eternally grace the halls of mandos, little one," He said. "Thank you for your sacrifice and your love."  
  
Frodo smiled. "Legolas?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I hope that.that you and Nikki will find happiness together."  
  
Legolas smiled. "As do I. Thank you."  
  
Gandalf and Aragorn walked over to join them. Frodo grinned lopsidedly at Aragorn.  
  
"Well, Strider, looks like you weren't quite what I thought you were."  
  
"And it so happens that you were far more than anybody expected," Aragorn replied, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly at the hobbit's grin.  
  
Gandalf smiled at this exchange.  
  
"Gandalf?" Frodo said.  
  
"Yes, my lad?" the wizard responded.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For sending me on the quest."  
  
"What?" Gandalf asked, startled. He had known Bilbo and Frodo a long time and neither of them had ever surprised him quite so much.  
  
"It taught me the meaning of so many things." He said.  
  
Gandalf smiled. "Indeed, it seemed to have that effect." He said.  
  
Frodo now turned to address Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Don't you two cry. And don't stop causing mischief anytime soon."  
  
"We won't," Merry said. Pippin nodded in agreement.  
  
"Don't you worry, Frodo. We'll keep old Maggot on his toes, eh?" he added. Frodo smiled, and turned to Sam and Leah, both on the opposite side of the bed from all but Legolas.  
  
"Thank you both so much. I couldn't have done any of it without you two."  
  
They both smiled. Leah reached out and touched the side of Frodo's face.  
  
"Come here," he said.  
  
She knew what he meant and she leaned forward and kissed him gently. Sam smiled at this, seeing his master happy at the end of his life, instead of dying in Mordor, like he thought they both would so many years ago.  
  
"I love you all," were Frodo's last words.  
  
~*~  
  
Frodo Baggins died that morning, a smile gracing his porcelain face. Nikki Baggins entered the room just in time to see him address the group of people surrounding his bed, and he caught her eye and smiled as he said his last words.  
  
Nikki and Legolas were married, just outside of Mirkwood's borders. Narquendiel attended, and was very honestly happy for the both of them. Leah was happy and did not cry again save for joy.  
  
After Frodo's funeral, Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Leah rode back to Hobbiton. This time, they were greeted with open arms and a Shire that had not been corrupted.  
  
Leah wrote the story, just as she had promised Frodo she would the night before he died. She searched the whole Shire to find a blank leatherbound book that matched to red book, but all she found was one of a similar style but made of green leather. She finished the story and packed it, along with Sting and Frodo's mithril vest, which had been given to her after his death.  
  
She, Sam, Merry, and Pippin rode together as far as Rivendell, where Merry and Pippin turned south to Gondor, where they would serve under King Elessar. Leah rode with Elrond to Mirkwood.  
  
Sam was to stay in Rivendell for a time, before he would eventually come to sail west to the undying lands with Elrond. Leah left the Red Book and the Green Book, along with both Sting and the mithril vest, in his possession.  
  
When Leah and Elrond reached Mirkwood, Leah said her goodbyes and Elrond sent her back to her world. Elrond, Narquendiel, Thranduil, and the twenty or so elves that were still left in Mirkwood, plus the ones who had joined them from Lorien, rode back to Rivendell, and took the last ships into the west.  
  
Nikki and Legolas traveled to Gondor and lived there, alongside Elessar and the hobbits.  
  
~*~  
  
Leah woke up on her couch.  
  
"Goddamn, what a hangover." She said, putting a hand to her forehead. It was then that she remembered her dream.  
  
"Holy shit." she said. She looked over at Emmy, her cat, who sat, glaring at her, on the armrest across from her.  
  
"Damn."  
  
She made some toast and walked outside, thinking some food and fresh air might do her good. She spotted the newspaper on the porch and picked it up. She walked back inside, yawning. Sitting on the couch, she unrolled the paper. The first thing that caught her eye was the front page headline:  
  
CENTRAL PARK IN RUINS AFTER BIZARRE INTERRUPTION TO CONCERT New York Streets Littered With Dead Creatures and Bizarre Wreckage  
  
Leah dropped her toast in shock. The cat climbed into her lap and curled up. After a moment, she shut her mouth and started petting the cat.  
  
"Well, I'm back." 


End file.
